Some Things About Life I Would Tell My Future Kid (Part 5)

1) What Differentiates You Makes You Who You Are

Growing up, I received a lot of jokes about my name,  face, weight,  temper,  fashion sense,  and yes, even haircut.  The most prevalent joke about me is being called "kabayo" because of my jaw line(I would think "huhu Why my panga? Sana dahil sa birdie ko nalang.")  One time, I even visited the derma and as I was laying there on my back, the derma called her assistant and said "Gusto mo makakita ng grabeng jaw? Tignan mo yung kay Ronald." Thanks, doc. Titingin din ako sa iyo kung gusto ko makakita ng grabeng waistline.

Hurt feelings aside, when I started dating, I realized that most, if not all the girls I've ever dated found me attractive for my horsey features.  What I figured out was, kanya kanyang taste yan. Some like them big jaws, some find them round faces cuter... and if I were to have a choice between being different and blending in a sea of faces, I would choose to be different. I am divergent... Naki-ride lang sa movie. No, this does not mean that you should try being a hipster(not that there's anything wrong with being a hipster... more power to you, Noynoy-glasses wearing individuals)

If you don't believe me or you missed seeing Divergent, watch the Lego Movie. The dude realized that he was so concerned about fitting into what is normal, that nobody knew who he was, not even his so called friends.

Teasing or being teased(in its most innocent meaning) is a part of life.  You get teased by your friends, classmates, siblings, or even by strangers. There's no getting around it; Perfect kasi sila eh. What's important is how you deal with these things.  There is beauty in all things, and only those who can appreciate it are worthy of your time.  When being ridiculed for not falling within the conventional standards of society, don't frustrate yourself for not being ideal or not being cookie-cutter perfect. Hold your head up high and own it.

2) Look Them Bullies Eye to Eye

Back when I just entered first year high school, I had the unfortunate experience of running into a particular barkada from a higher year level.  I've never talked nor made eye contact with them, but one day, five of them went to my classroom. Three of them stood by just outside while their "leader" and another scum of the earth decided to go in to threaten me. Masyado daw akong "maangas" looking(I can't help it if my I end up scowling when faced with ugly people such as them, c'mon, right?)

Their "leader" was a foot shorter than me and had an uncanny resemblance to Chito Miranda. He also looked like he needed a couple of happy meals to save him from starvation. They tried to intimidate me. Five versus one?  Nope, still not enough to get me to back down, silly butiki. The long and short of it was I got hit on the chest(coz he was too short to reach my face? I mean really, who sucker punches a chest?) And I retaliated by throwing him on the floor.   His sidekick then hit me with a monoblock chair on my back.  When the bell rang, the bullies ran away. On several other occassions they would torment me and throw something at me, but I just gave them my oh so big middle finger. 

I decided to corner some of them feeling bad boys when they were alone just to see what they were made of.  Then the most interesting thing happened; They couldn't look me in the eye, and neither could they speak without stuttering. They were all cowards, especially the one who kept throwing stuff at me.

On other occassions, more guys from the higher batch would test me. I remember one of them suddenly shouted "Hoy siocoy, bakla ka diba? Isa kang malaking bakla!"  or some words to that effect. Since I don't resort to immature name calling, I decided to just throw my coleman at his face. Needless to say he never looked me in the eye... his bully aura died when he started crying. 

Once, an upperclassman decided to interrupt my basketball game when the ball rolled in his direction.  He just up and got the ball, and decided to do some shooting in another court.  I asked him kindly to return it but he wouldn't.  He only gave it back when I came over and put him in a headlock. "Joke lang daw" at "sorry."  He never bothered me again.

Bullies are people who were never hugged enough as a child, or were never breastfed, or were cursed with really small patotoys and are trying to overcompensate for it...  or it could be for several other reasons. One thing is for sure, they are the way they are not because they're "tough guys", they're bullies because they are riddled with insecurities and always have something to prove.

Kid, you should never start fights but you should always be ready to stand up for yourself.  Don't spend your life cowering against those who always have something to prove. You may bleed, turn black and blue, but you will sleep better knowing that you stood your ground against those who have a false sense of superiority over you. 

3) Don't Date For Caviar

I once had a Facebook contact who shared a blog she read which listed several "budget" restaurant ideas for dating.  She ranted saying "If a guy asks you on a date & brings you to these restos, walk away.. There are a lot of things to put a budget on but how to treat a girl should't be one of them. #FAIL."

I tossed and turned but I couldn't let it go. It's one thing to be shallow, but to promote such shallowness is another.  I left a comment saying "So some people actually equate the enjoyment of a date to the price level of a restaurant? And I thought it always boiled down to chemistry and good conversation skills."  After posting, I deleted her from my contacts (Hashtag "we got a bad ass over here.")  I don't need people like that in my life, not even if it were Ann Curtis.

Every person has his or her own standards for dating.  For me, it is always quality over quantity (Dating shouldn't be Divisoria style na tiangge, madami ka ngang t-shirts pero may mga butas naman)  High standards may refer to looks, sex appeal, character, intellect, presentability, etc. It may also refer to her being "classy".  Remember, "class" is not about money: it is about having elegance and is reflected by how one carries his or herself (The moment someone confuses that having class is about having money, trust me, that person doesn't have any.)

Kid, looking for your special someone requires you to go through that ritual called "dating." In this process you figure out what you thought you wanted and what you really want in your significant other.  Such ritual can cost you from zero pesos to mega-pucha-butas-wallet-smile-now-iyak-later amount.  The former does not mean your date will suck, neither does the latter guarantee a good date.  You want someone who will enjoy fancy dinners, but not mind standing in line with you at some fast food joint when you're both a little strapped for cash.  You date to find someone to enjoy the little things with, not someone who will just be there to be when there is caviar and champagne.

A good date is about chemistry. You start out nervous as to whether you have enough talking points to avoid any awkward silence then, before you know it,  you've been sitting in the same spot for so long but you're already looking forward to seeing each other even before you've said your goodbyes. Conversation will flow effortlessly that you feel like you've known each other for years.  Everything around you simply disappears, and any place you go to with each other would seem special and romantic.  Chemistry is about having an undeniable interest in a particular person; discovering their past to understand their present, and looking for the possibility of your future together.  

With chemistry, you end up drowning in each other so much that the hours will seem like minutes, and the minutes will seem like seconds... and guess what?  You can't buy it.