Some Things About Life I Would Tell My Future Kid (Part 2)

Some Things About Life I Would Tell My Future Kid (Part 2) 

1) Never Let Anyone Dictate What You Are Capable Of

Back in grade school, my teacher gave us an assignment;  we had to write a story to express our creativity.  I decided to create a comic book of a cross breed between Ghost Rider and Spiderman. Sketched with a sign pen, it had panels and speech bubbles, with quite a sensible story. May shading-shading pa, o diba? My comic book was amazing, especially for a grade schooler.  I was like Stan Lee with boogers.

After submitting, my teacher accused me of having someone else make it for me.  She even called my parents just to make "sumbong" that my chubby hands were not capable of such art work and that no way could a grade school kid make up such a story line... That epal, I would have gotten so angry if she wasn't such a cute teacher.  Ehem, Miss Felix, single ka pa rin ba? You are forgiven and I am old enough. You will not go to jail.  Aheehee.

Anyway,with her actions, she crushed my heart, nilagyan ng Ajinomoto, at pinakain sa aso.  After that, although I don't remember being particularly upset, I stopped writing.  If I never stopped writing, maybe I could have been the guy who wrote One More Chance, or On the Job.  Instead, I keep writing these ridiculously long Facebook statuses that my friends complain about. Now we'll never know. 

Never let anyone tell you what you're capable of. Will Smith said it best in that movie Pursuit of Happyness. He can deliver a line that will strike your soul.  He said to his son: "Don't ever let somebody tell you you can't do something,  not even me. You've got a dream, you've got to protect it. When people can't do something themselves, they wanna tell you 'you can't do it.'  You want something, go get it. Period."  Dayummm, my balahibo is nakatayo all over the place.

2) Failure Is Acceptable But Giving Up Isn't

When I was forced to transfer from Ateneo Law School to San Beda Mendiola(because of a ridiculously unfair motherhumper of a professor), I had to start all over again.  After everything has sunk in, I cried. I cried once, for around five minutes,  and dusted myself off.  People told me that maybe I should  take a break, or maybe transfer to an "easier" school so I didn't have to start over again. I told them no. If this is what it takes to reach my destiny, damn it, I will take the road less traveled and I will take it now.

Kid, in this life you will be tested. If you're lucky, it'll be like a dental check up.  If not, it might feel like a full blown prostate exam. Oh God, the image I just put in my brain. Anyway, I can't tell you how many times I have failed in my endeavors. Minsan talaga sabaw tatay mo eh,pero usually malas lang (Lalo na sa chinese subjects niya. I still don't like you, Lao Sher!) I am far from a success story, not yet, but like most success stories, what people don't see is the path of thorns and pits that these determined individuals had to run through and climb out of to get there.

The way I see it, the only valid reason to give up is when you stopped wanting whatever it is you're aiming for.  Hey, even the Dark Knight had to get his back broken before he saved Gotham, right? So Ben Affleck, use your cleft chin properly and don't ruin him.

3) Love Fearlessly

Let me tell you a story about a girl.  At the time, I thought she was everything I wanted.   In our particular situation, she was off limits because of our social setting.  It would have been a violation of the all important Bro Code and a violation of my own principles.  Hey, the heart wants what it wants, right?  Soldier of love eh. So with the purest of intentions, sumugod ako... right into a mine field.   It blew up in my face! Idjot, sobrang idjot talaga.  For a time I lost my closest friends and realized that the person I fell for wasn't actually her.  Who I fell for was a mere idea of her.  

Do I regret my decision to fight the good fight? Heck no,  ultimate Soldier of Love talaga eh.  I learned what I had to learn, and I am not left with the haunting "What if?" question.  It allows you to move on to the next potential "the One", without reservation.  Whether or not you get the girl after giving it everything you've got, you will grow as a person and mature, realize what you truly want, and hopefully, move a step closer to the true love of your life.

Son, love fearlessly, jump through the hoops of fire and fight the dragon guarding the princess.  You won't regret it. 

  

Some Things About Life I Would Tell My Future Kid (Part 1)

People I know around me are either getting married, got married, or are pregnant. So napamuni-muni ako, and I decided to list lessons I want my future kid to take into heart before I forget them. I will prolly print this out in the future and make my kid read it, or otherwise, I will threaten to make pakpak his pwet.


Some Things About Life I Would Tell My Future Kid (Part 1) 

1) You can’t always have what you want, but you can always make the best of what you already have.

For example, when I was younger, Brad Pitt became a household name. I remember praying to God asking him to make me as powgi as papa Brad when I grow up so the girls will be swooning all over me... Pucha, ginawa ba naman akong kamukha ni Jeremy Lin. 

Thanks, Lord, medyo malayo ah. But hey, it’s all good. I got over the fact that I will never be the cover of GQ, or at least be a “Candy Cutie”. I just made sure I always smelled nice, had a complete tinga-free set of teeth, and kept the world from seeing the bacon-ing garter of my underwear. Son, keep that in mind and you’ll do fine. Trust me.

2) Never compromise who you are to fit in with “cool” people.
I remember back in grade school, while everyone was “into” head-banging noisy music, I was listening to the Backstreet Boys and N’Sync. People would judge my manliness because I listened to music that made girls go “ERMYGAHD I LOVE YOU NICK CARTEEER! ANAKAN MO NA AKO!!!”

Years later, when we’re all hanging out in a bar somewhere that plays 90s music, everyone, and I mean EVERYONE was singing along to BSB and N’Sync songs. Complete with effin' hand pumping gestures from their MTVs. Seriously? People gave me such a hard time for listening to “gay” songs and it turned out everyone knew every line of every verse of “As Long As You Love Me”. May chair action pa kayong nalalaman. Motherthumpers.

Son, do what I did. Never let “cool” people dictate who you are and what you want in life. They are full of crap. Never succumb to peer pressure, and just let them think what they want to think. Recently I’ve been enjoying the music of One Direction. People can Judge me for liking “gay” music, but I don't care coz I’ve got balls and it's bigger than theirs.

3) Respect the elderly and always be a gentleman, it never goes out of style.

Son, if there’s one thing that you need to understand, your biceps aren’t there just so that you can flex and impress them girlaloos. Cramps lang aabutin mo diyan.

You’ll get the job done better by opening doors for them, helping them carry their things, sacrificing your behind on getting wet so that that your umbrella properly covers them, and giving up your seat even if that means you’ll have to remain standing. That also applies to them cute old people, you don’t need to want to date them before you help them out.

An Open Letter To Our Pinoy Commuters:

Dear Ma'ams and Sirs,

This is regarding your complaints about the current implementations by the Government to have some form of control over the years, wait, no, decades of abuse and laziness. I would like to say, F U. F U for the following reasons:

1) "Ano ba yan, ngayon kailangan ko pa maglakad."
Tunginuh you. Bawal kalyohin paa mo, teh? Huwag choosy pag-hindi yummy. In your case, bawal magpakasosyal ang hindi sosy. Go put on some deodorant or tawas, get a freakin' face towel, and start walking to the proper loading/unloading zone. You want to have the benefits of having a car? Then go buy one. Oh that's right, you can't afford a freakin' car. If you can't afford a car, that means you aren't rich enough to demand freedom from any physical exertion, you lazy-ass mother thumpin' piece of TAE( Taong Ayaw mag-Effort). Either get a boyfriend with a freakin' car, o magpa-buhat ka sa kanya. Di ka kayang buhatin? Odi magpapayat ka.

Take me for example, I park and walk a good 10-15mins to the nearest train station while lugging around a 35 pound bag. Do I need to take a freakin train? No, but I don't choose to act like a freakin' prima donna and bitch about it. Masmaarte pa kayo sa may kaya eh.

2) Years Of Wrong Don't Make It Right
So for decades you've been dodging cars along EDSA just to catch a stupid bus. Such practice has gone on for so long that the MMDA was forced to put up a chicken fence for us human beings. A CHICKEN EFFIN' FENCE. Years of getting away with being lazy does not justify your actions nor preclude changing for the better. We're probably the only country in the civilized universe who needs herding. The retarded thing is, you people still jump the freakin' fence. Da f*ck, right.

3) Para Kayong China
You silly people are acting like those mainland morons who make cancerous milk products. Similarly, it doesn't mean that you are the majority, or in China's case, the "Bigger" body, makes you correct and gives you the right to inconvenience the rest of the population. "Public Transportation", contrary to popular belief, was not intended to benefit just the people who cannot afford cars. It's intended to benefit the entire population by making traveling efficient and effective.

Sincerely,
Someone who hates you all so much for all your mentally deficient reasoning.

P.S. If you are insulted, please understand that I don't effin' care. You can take your anger and stick it up your ass. Have a great day.

A Country is a Reflection of Its Transportation System

Since everyone has been so angry about the latest "brilliant" MMDA proposal regarding the two-day color coding system, I decided to repost something I wrote months ago. Uso pa ata yung RH Bill debate nun. It's an old one, but I guess still timely, considering the circumstances.

If this were a thesis, my statement would be:
A Country is a Reflection of Its Transportation System:

Why, you ask? Similar to actual life in the Metro, when you step out of the comfort and safety of your home, condo, office or computer shop (if you happen to be in one as of the moment) and what do you experience?
The real world. It's dirty, congested, dangerous and full of rules that no one really seems to follow.

First we have the public transportation populous. These are the jeepneys and buses representing the underprivileged. Iyung nagpapatugtog ng "Spaghetti Song" at "Dota o Ako?" They're loud, unruly, and there's a lot of them. A Lot. So much that if this were a tiangge, 'buy one take two' na. I guess when one does not have an iPad to play with... Lam na. Most of them justify their actions for their daily needs in life.

They feel entitled to be above the rules of society because they were already dealt with a bad hand. They don't care about those around them as long as they get what they need, and there's nothing we can do about it because there's almost nothing to take away from them. "Oh, there's a 'No Loading/Unloading' sign? Let me stop just in front of it so I can read it while passengers board my awesome-dragon-ball-Z painted love machine." We go woozah na lang, then tweet "die jejemon, dieee!"

Also we have the private sector; these are the cars other than the abovementioned. If you happen to be driving, look to your left. That guy in the Honda picking his nose, yep, that's who I'm talking about. These are the people ranging from the "medyo" poor to average. They follow the rules but will probably break them if they could get away with it. The "medyo" poor to average are more law abiding because they have enough in life to lose, but not enough to be above the rules. These are the people who tweet about the jejemon that just cut him off.

Then we have the influential and omfg-sarap-mong-kidnapin rich. These are the cars that cost more than the average house. They have either the power or the money to be the Kings of the Road (sometimes Wang-wang equipped, police escorted epaloids) They have their fingers in everything, and can't be apprehended... If apprehended, one of those fingers, will form a big F U sign coz they can afford it(Robert Carabuena thought he was one of them, di pala. I feel you, bro.)

Let's not forget about the traffic enforcers, those uniformed "public servants". They represent our leaders. A few good ones, a lot of bad. They direct the flow of this country through legislation, keeping everyone in check. Without them, this chaos would be more chaotic. They should be respected, but sometimes you just want to go Carabuena on them. Sometimes they actually know what they're doing, but sometimes they just quote bloggers, twisting things to fit their cause (Tito Sotto, I am talking about you, you kapal-faced person). Parang babae; can't live with them, can't live without them... But since they lack the sexy curves and boobies, just two words: necessary evil.

Finally, we have the pot holes. Often, unexpected and undeserved by the law abiding citizen. They either happen because someone did not do their job right, or we were just too lazy to avoid it, or force majeure(that's just a fancy term for Act of God. Never heard of it? Try riding one of our local airlines, uso iyan dun.) These pot holes can merely annoy us or devastate us, depending on the damage to our car(which is a metaphor for our lives, in case you still don't get it. If you still don't, why da puck are we still friends? Just kidding, wag sensitive.)

So with all this negativity in our attempt to traverse the great EDSA, what do have left to look forward to? With all the randomness, some people stay for the long drive, most just for the short trip. Amidst the epals and epaloids, we can choose who we want to ride with in this journey; our passengers can either be our family, our friends, and our significant other. They make our lives more exciting, more meaningful, and sometimes just laugh-out-loud funny, making the ride worth it.
This is just my take on how life is like in the Philippines, and hopefully it makes some sense.

Disclaimer: any resemblance to actual life is purely coincidental, except to Tito Sotto. No amount of cosmic supernatural 'invisible hand' thingamajig can come together to replicate the level of idiocy that lolo-wolverine-wannabe has shown.

2012

Pinoy Mindsets That I Really Do Not Understand

Sales person: Hi sir, welcome. Feel free to look around as I watch you like a hawk and stand beside you really close. Gusto ko sobrang lapit. Ayan maamoy ko na batok mo. Baka magnanakaw ka kasi eh. Pero I'm sure this is the most effective way to sell you shit you don't really need. 

Manong Jeepney: Bossing, i-cucut lang kita para tumigil sa harap mo! Ops, bawal magalit, nilawit ng konduktor ko yung paa niya, pwede na ako magswerve. Ahihihi. I have a right to be a nuisance since I was not born with a silver spoon. Spork lang, plastic pa. Saka bored nanaman kami ni missis kaya gumawa nanaman kami ng anak na hindi namin mapapakain. Also, let me stop in the pinakamasikip of masikip na eskinita so I do not hassle just one lane, but two! Wala naman kwenta yung "No loading/unloading sign" na iyan eh, look at me, I'm loading and unloading at walang paki si manong MMDA! Yes, my needs are more important than the safety and efficiency of the transportation system because you are rich and I am poor.

Manong MMDA: Ser, you are a private vehicle so it will be easier to hassle your masel. And I get neck pains when I turn my head to the direction of traffic violating buses and jeepneys, so ikaw nalang, ser! I have stopped you because... Ser, di bagay yung sando mo sa luob ng kotse. I will attempt to scare you with a ten thousand peso fine because I think I am smarter than you. Do you not see how well I tucked in my blue polo in my cargo shorts? May leather shoes pa, diba? That is the look of a really smart person, ser! Pero ser, pagmukha kang nagiisip ng konti, 'have a good day' nalang, ser!

Anti-smoke Belching Unit: Ser, you're in violation of the anti-smoke belching law since you're driving a diesel engine, bago o luma! You have to wait in line behind those ten other vehicles that I plan to ask for "lagay". It doesn't matter if it's totally discriminatory ser, nor the fact that you had clearance from the LTO! Nakita mo yung mataba kong kaibigan? Expert iyan sa emission testing, kita mong nagagawa niya trabaho niya habang nangungulangot! Di na kailangan mag-isip! Dibale nang walang pumapasa sa testing, ser, kailangan ko ng pang-coke eh!

Manong Guard: Halt! I shall inspect the belly of your vehicle because I'm sure it's the most convenient way of storing bombs. Pero isang side lang ha, masakit na paa ko kakaikot. Then, let me inspect your trunk and slam it shut just for the heck of it! After months of doing such effective safety routines, I now have super powers to determine the contents of the boxes and bags in your trunk without opening them. As you enter the establishment, let me run my hand up and down your nipple and pusod because I really think violating your personal space is a good way of saving lives! Don't worry, sir, I will pretend you're a woman so this won't be so awkward.
I will also violently stab your bag with my magic wand to determine if you're a threat while I make chismis with my co-hero about the latest Marian-Dingdong telenobela. Yes, I have totally protected this establishment.

Parking-Skwater: Koya, you should give me an unreasonably big tip for uselessly waving my arms and putting myself in harm's way by standing behind your vehicle! Da effort, koya, da effort! Nevermind the fact that you would have seen the empty slot without my help since I'm restraining myself from scratching your car with the ice pick in my pocket. Pota, bente lang? 40 pesos yung parking fee dito, akin yung kalsada kasi dito ako pinalaki. Saka hello, kailangan ko ng pambili ng hair dye, nabubura na yung pagka-blonde ko. Pakyu, ang kuripot mo! Pakyu!

Yes, more fun in the Philippines.